She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
