dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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