My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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