I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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