Kiss
Puke
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
