so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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