As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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