Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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