Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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