Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
