so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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