Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
