she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
