did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
