...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
