Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
