i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
