Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
