Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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