I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth