at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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