guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
