I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
