Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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