4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was like eating out sand paper
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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