Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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