dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Randomize
