Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
