i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
