Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i will never coherently bang her
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
