he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
