I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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