Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
