Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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