I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize