So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
