Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
