...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
