At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
