I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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