just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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