Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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