All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i think my cat just said my name.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
