the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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