You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.