Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.