I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.