Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
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Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him