i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
