i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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