i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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