An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
