Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just found puke in my bra..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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