hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
