he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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