i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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