I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
