in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize