Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
