The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
