I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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